Thursday, September 4, 2014

in the middle of ____________ (fills in the blank)

Hi all.

The truth is, I will blog when I have problem. And I'm having lot of problems right now. Like, a lot. But don't worry I will not ruin your mood reading all the negative stories. Let's talk about something good and informative (really? ciare? :D)

Actually, I feel like so troublesome to write in English because I would spend 3 times longer than I write in Malay. But after I read the gorgeous vivy's blog, there was a stone smashed right on my face. I got the guts to blog in English because of her. She 'woke me up' with her writings. She inspires me. And I want to keep it that way. Even though our lifestyles and background are not from the same environment, but her confidence and intelligence inspires me and I believe, to many more out there.

It's true. Mostly Malay students are brilliant but when come to English or Public Speaking, we're down and slowly becoming low-self-esteem. Been there, done that. I think I'm good in my education (I think so hihi) but when it comes to speech, presentation, public speaking, and etc, I'm numb. I couldn't talk in Malay in front of the hall, let alone in English. Forget it. And people will stare with their wide open eyes and mengerut-dahi like What's wrong with this girl? My god, pity her. She couldn't even say hello. Some sort like that.

And, YESTERDAY, was the biggest day of my career life. I've been asked to present our project in front of the minister of KPDNKK. I repeat, IN FRONT OF MINISTER OF KPDNKK, YB DATO' SRI HASAN. 


In such a short notice, about 4 hours earlier before the presentation, I was told to present it. I think I was calm, at first..... until the presentation started. I feel cold. My fingers numb. My brain blank! YA ALLAH. I started the presentation quite nervous but it went well towards the end. Alhamdulillah!! Thank You Ya Allah. You saved me!! I thought I'm going to cry during the session and rush out from the meeting and then my boss will fire me. But Alhamdulillah I made it. I'd overcome the nervous feelings yahooo! 

I spoke in Malay of course. But it's OK. At least I overcome my nervousness and I think I'm over it. I'm not nervous anymore. Alhamdulillah :)

And now, my next weakness to overcome is, to gain confidence to talk in English. Yes, I'm really bad at it. I will merapu and talk rubbish if someone asks me something in English. Like, duh, it's just a simple question kott! So ciare, please please please gather yourself and gain the confidence. Maybe you should start like how Vivy did, read it out loud. OK, I'll start to read bed time stories to kids out loud tonight. Because I'd usually whispering and fall asleep before them HA HA

 I love green *tetiba*

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